Unhappily Ever After

After failing to get one of the three VCRs (even the one that requires you to continuously press the ""play"" button) from Jennifer in the divorce, Jack sells his car to an old lady and buys himself a new one. Mr. Floppy gets excited because they can watch porno (Natural Born Hooters). Jennifer gets upset because it's their first marriage anniversary after the break up, and Jack forgets what day it is. Jennifer invites Jack over for dinner and cons him into feeling that they ought to exchange gifts, and he gives her the new VCR, while she gives him the crappy one. Mr. Floppy gets mad at Jack for giving away the new VCR, and Jack makes the mop and pizza box talk to demonstrate that he doesn't need Mr. Floppy.

Mr. Floppy thinks that Jack should start dating. While Jack, Jennifer, Ryan, and Tiffany go to Howe High's back to school night, Jack tries to send out ""the vibe"" to the women there. Amazingly he gets a date with Miss Taylor (Ryan's Civics Teacher), whom all the male teachers and students, and half the female teachers are after. Jennifer agrees to lend Jack the car for the date, but is less than supportive of him. When Jack comes to pick up the car, Jennifer and the car aren't there-- she and Maureen have taken it to the otherside of the block. Jack ends up meeting Miss Taylor 3 hours late, and Ryan's friend the paperboy ends up going home with her.

In order to become more successful at attracting a new man, Jennifer wants Jack to buy her new breasts. When he refuses, she tries to sell her engagement ring and finds out it is glass and 14 karat goldette, and becomes upset. Jack, against the wishes of Mr. Floppy, decides to sell his autographed baseball in order to buy her a new ring. Jennifer tells him that the ball was really autographed by her mother. Jack and Jennifer have sex at the end of the episode.

Since Jack's boss (Jennifer's father) won't give him a car, he decides to buy a moped. Jennifer finally convinces her mother, who came six weeks ago for a two week visit, to go home. As Maureen walks out the door, Jack runs into her with the moped, which of course causes her to continue staying with Jennifer. Jennifer decides that in order to prevent Maureen from suing Jack and getting all of Jennifer's stuff, that Jack should call her ""mom"" (which he has never done). Features a wonderful daydream medley of scenes where Jack imagines killing Maureen at various stages in his life.

Jennie, Ross, and Ryan are sick in bed with colds, and Tiffany has two days until the Alphi Pi Psi party at the local university, where she plans to mingle with the geeks since ""today's big dufus is tomorrow's Bill Gates."" Jennifer calls Jack over so that he can pick up food and tampons, and get the car from the mechanic. Mr. Floppy makes Jack to take him along so that he won't be bored in the apartment, and then convinces Jack to escape to Mexico. Jack turns back home after a ""conscious attack,"" gets yelled at for buying the wrong flavor lollipops, and is stopped from running to Mexico again because he ran out of gas in the driveway. Jack and Jennifer have sex in the front seat of the car at the end.